MY
GOAL:
My Goal
for
my art and writing, is to nurture spiritual wholeness by reminding
myself
and others to compassionately look inward with gentleness and
non-judgment;
exploring and examining self beliefs and perceptions of life in order
to
dissolve the blocks that prevent us from living in a space of self love
and self appreciation. As this nurturing place of self love and
appreciation
expands within us, so does our ability to love and nurture other living
beings in a more authentic way.
MY PHILOSOPHY:
I
believe
wholeness is a spiritual state of existence in which we embrace all
aspects
of our self with love, appreciation and honor. As we claim and unite
our
shadowed and limited self with our illuminated self we see our
illuminated
self as our moments of clarity, our shadowed self as our moments of
learning
potential and our limitations as opportunities to practice self
compassion.
INSPIRATION TO PAINT:
As I
review
my journey into painting healing art I see the steps clearly that
brought
me to a place of creating. But, believe me, at the time it took place
and
before, I felt little rhyme or reason. In fact, I felt great darkness
before
its birth.
I
was
born in 1963, and I have always been a sensitive person. Too sensitive
it seemed for me for it rendered me useless and overwhelmed most of the
time. As a teenager I developed panic attacks after contracting the
Epstein
Barr virus. (I didn't know then that viruses can cause stress to the
adrenal
glands causing an onset of adrenal surges which can develope into panic
attacks.) I was very ashamed of my "weakness" and I viewed my
sensitivity
as a negative.
Many
years later
I came up with the “enlightened” idea that if I was going to be "crazy"
like an artist I might as well reap the benefits of an artist’s soul
and
begin to create something special. It sounds simple enough but that
moment
was truly a magical infusion of many different life experiences and
observations
falling into place.
Some of
those
accumulated moments of living that prepared me for artistry are as
follows:
1. I was always a creative
person.
As a child I drew with pencils and crayons and I practiced drawing
still
life in my high school art classes. I loved crafts too. In my twenties
I painted five or six times but more often than not I was uninspired to
finish what I had started.
2. I gained some
artistic confidence
through the years by working at a sign shop and a cookie decorating
shop
in my early thirties. And before those jobs I made signs by hand, while
employed at a fitness center that read with such inspired verbiage as
“This
way to the bathroom”.
3. Besides confidence, I
also needed
inspiration. Art more often bored me than attracted me. But
inspiration
and desire to paint further developed when I saw the art of a local
Chinese
painter. He painted such lovely and unique women that I saw how
beautiful
art could be.
4. Then I discovered
"Southwest
Art" magazine. This magazine further inspired me for its artists used
such
bright and alive colors. I knew from observing the featured art that if
I ever painted, I would use bright and alive colors as well.
5. Having gained
experience, confidence,
and inspiration one thing that still lacked was Permission
to be an artist. And on the day that I allowed myself to create since I
was already “crazy” was the day I gave myself permission to be an
artist.
6. The only thing
now left
to decide was "What do I paint?" Time went by. In 1996, I had been sick
for a year and lost touch with all my friends. I also had been studying
spiritual thought. Then a new friend, Celia, appeared in my life. She
cared
and offered advice because she too had been sick for a long time. This
so touched my heart that I saw the vision of two women touching each
other's
hearts. And that is where the inspiration to paint my first painting
"Hearts
Touching" came from.
While painting "Hearts
Touching"
I was told by "Heaven" that I was to paint more and one day share my
art
with others.
Each painting that I
painted I
felt assisted by "Heaven" and so when it came time to show publicly my
art, I was confident because I knew that Heaven did as much of the work
as I did. The images that I painted were usually the emotional state in
which I was in or desired to be in. So sometimes I painted the clouds
that
seemed before my eyes blocking my vision of truth or sometimes I
painted
the peace in which I craved. Each painting was a way for my spirit to
speak
and to give me peace and hope for a better day.
I encourage all who
read
this to examine and explore what artistic expression draws you closer
and
to allow your spirit to speak through that creative process be it
photography,
music, dance, painting, sculpting, collage, gardening, decorating,
directing,
writing, etc.
And I would love to hear
from you
as you embark, continue or reflect on your journey of artistic
expression
for healing.
Contact Rita Loyd by email:
ritaloyd@bellsouth.net
or by phone: 256.880.3935
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(10/04/03)
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